BY AKI SHIMAKURA

In April, about 2000 new students, including entrants to the Women's Junior College students, enrolled in Sapporo University. In my university, which every year accepts new students from all over Japan, many of these students, having left their family homes, will be living by themselves. (refer to list 1) The number of such students has, in recent years, tended to increase, as has the number of students who continue to live with their families. What has been decreasing, year by year, is the number of students who live in dormitories.

This April, on leaving my home town Rausu (a small town in the east of Hokkaido), I began for the first time to live by myself. Two months have now passed since I began to live by myself, and during that time I have had many new experiences. I should like, in this article, to write something about those experiences.

Generally speaking, living by oneself seems attractive because we can feel free; "You can live away from your childhood home," "You can be free," "You don't need to have to worry about your family." Actually, when I am talking to other freshman students about living alone, many of them say to me, "I envy you your life," "I want to live like that, too." On the other hand, living by oneself is not without its problems; we have to cope with "illness and injury," "canvassers and salesmen," and "the preparation of meals." I began to live by myself because I wanted to live apart from my parents, but I soon realized that living by myself was not easy.

Actually, as soon as I began living by myself, I was visited by a newspaper canvasser and an NHK runner. When I was living at home, I used to think that my mother was cold when she always turned canvassers away with a firm "No, thank you!" But since I did not know anything about the salesmen's method of interviewing students, I listened to their talk with sympathy, and before I knew what was happening I had made a contract to receive (and pay for) broadcasts transmitted by NHK. As a matter of fact, I do not watch TV, and I know some students who refuse to pay a subscription fee by saying "I don't watch NHK." When I thought about this, I felt displeased with myself for my compassionate attitude. As you perhaps know (see list 2), the monthly NHK subscription fee is 1,395 yen and is a considerable expense out of my poor pocket money. Thereafter, I noticed that I have taken the same attitude as my mother does toward the canvassers and salesmen.

Since I can get to school in five minutes from the place where I am living, the rent is expensive. Yet though I live so close, I never seem to have enough time on my side to get to school punctually. Not even the high volume of my CD, the alarm of my cellular phone, or the call of the alarm clock are adequate substitutes for my mother's determined shout of "Come along! It's time to get up!"

As things stand at present, I cannot even prepare breakfast for myself each morning. I therefore would like to give thanks for a well-balanced diet of rice, miso soup and some other dish, all for 300 yen, which I can buy at the university co-op. At the weekends I go to my friend's house to forget my loneliness and I haven't even touched the cooking books that I bought to cook meals that would be better than my mother's.

Since I began living by myself, I have had to make an appointment with the dentist by telephone, and for the first time get rid of insects from my room. The longer I have lived by myself, the clearer it has become that I depended on my parents and that I am not as strong as I thought I was. These experiences have taught me that my parents spoke the truth when they told me "You are liable to see only the pleasant side of living by yourself, but you will find that it is not as pleasant as all that."

When I was sick for home, my sense of loneliness was such that I lost control of myself. I became unstable and I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even study. When, in the depths of my loneliness, I wondered what I was doing, I could not see the point of studying at a university and I almost swerved away from the aim I had set for myself.

But letters from my grandmother encouraged me. Her wards "I cannot write letters well, but before everything else, you are my treasure." brought tears to my eyes. I was able to confirm again the existence of my friends who, when we telephone each other or meet when we can, help each other to overcome our loneliness. I came to realize that quite common things in my life bore heavily on me.

I think that it is difficult to look at familiar things from the different perspective which a new situation forces upon us, such familiar things as the existence of our parents or friends. But through living by myself for a few months, I have learned many things of this kind. And I have decided to go on living by myself, so that I can put to good account what I am learning. In this way, I am sure that I can make my university life more fruitful.