By Kanae Takagi

Kagami no Hosoku (The Theory of the Mirror)

by Yoshinori Noguchi.

Sogohorei publishing. 2006.￥1,000.

This book by Yoshinori Noguchi is based on real people and events, but the names and details have been changed. The characters in the book are people who improved their lives by the theory of the mirror. This theory states that the events which happen in our lives are a mirror which describes our lives. In other words, our feelings are mirrored in real events. For example, if you feel happy, you can come across happy events in the real world. I want to tell you about this book and how it teaches us to live a happy life.

The story is about Eiko, a homemaker who worries about her son because he doesn't have any friends. She talks with Mr. Yaguchi, her husband's senior from high school and a person who is familiar with psychology and is good at solving problems for both companies and individuals. Mr. Yaguchi taught her about the theory of the mirror, and she realized that there is a connection between her son being bullied at school and her resentment towards those close to her. The people she resents are her father and husband. Working with Mr. Yaguchi, she could find some feelings of gratitude for her father and husband. As a parent herself, she could come to understand her father's bitter feelings because when she was young he tried to help her, but she resented him for it. So she decided to trust her son and not interfere with him. How her son finally came to make friends is not written in detail, but it seems that the change in Eiko's attitude had a good effect on her son. As a result, her son's attitude also improved and he could make friends. Eiko was freed of her problem and she could enjoy a happy life. It seems that they experienced a miracle.

The scene where Eiko thanks her father and husband is very emotional. We can sympathize with her because it takes much effort to speak frankly to people close to us. To thank someone can create a strong bond. It is important that we continue to have thanks for small things.

It is also important to forgive people that you haven't forgiven. To forgive implies that you recognize those people. However, there is another reason for doing this; it is to free yourself from these problems. Otherwise, you give up on living a happy life, because having no feelings of forgiveness separates us from one another. To forgive people is difficult, but those people may have given us something which we can thank them for. If we can find that something, we can forgive them. Only then will our new life will start.

There are 8 steps to forgiveness in the book. In Step One, write the name of people you want to settle differences with and choose one of them. Then, write openly about your feelings for the person in Step Two.

Step Three has four parts: 1. Write down the act of the person you want to forgive. 2. Write the motive of the person who did it. 3. Try to understand the person's act as their immature and clumsy weakness. 4. Have an important point concerning the motive of the person's act and declare, "This person is the same as me―a person who also wants to feel pleasure and doesn't want to feel pain."

In Step Four you should write thanks for the person. In Step Five you declare, "I forgive Mr. or Mrs. so-and-so to get my own freedom, peace and happiness," and then you thank them over and over for 10 minutes. You should write the things that you want to apologize for to the person in Step Six, and in Step Seven, write about what you learned through the relationship with the person. Finally, in Step Eight, declare, "I forgave Mr. or Mrs. so-and-so."

The things written in this book encourage us to be free from our problems and to have a happy life. It is important to act as soon as you can. The problems which happen to us can surely be overcome, because we have the ability to solve these problems even though we don't realize it. We can prepare ourselves to face up to these problems. However, we often avoid our problems. We lose chances to grow because we don't try. If difficult problems happen to us, we need to be prepared. It is important that we have courage and face up to these problems. And then we should give thanks openly and our lives will change for the better. This act leads to not only our own happiness, but also the happiness of those around us. This book gives us such courage.